This week in history

Last weekend was my and Mrs. Toast’s anniversary, and without disclosing exactly how long we’ve been married, let me just say that our wedding happened sometime during the Reagan administration. Yes, we may be old, but we’re funky. True story: when Mrs. Toast’s father realized how much it was going to cost him to marry off his (second!) daughter at a big fancy church wedding, he jokingly offered to pay for a trip to Hawaii if we would agree to elope to Las Vegas instead. Much to his surprise, we took him up on it, and spent our honeymoon at Kauai’s legendary Coco Palms Resort, where Elvis filmed “Blue Hawaii” in 1961. At the hotel, Don Ho even personally sang “Tiny Bubbles” to us while actual bubbles from some sort of special-effects bubble machine hidden in the ceiling landed in our dinner salads. It was so awesome I nearly cried, mainly because the salads cost $8.99 each and the bubbles did not exactly enhance their flavor.

Anyway, having become naturally accustomed to the high-roller lifestyle as a result of this experience, we splurged for a mini-vacation here last weekend. Now one might think that such luxe surroundings would be more than enough to celebrate 20-some-odd years of wedded bliss, but no! I still had a trick up my sleeve — I took my dear wife out for dinner to a restaurant which featured this sign prominently displayed over the front door:

Pretty damn classy, eh? Bring on the Margaritas!

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